I try to plan everything: work activities, hobbies and when I
am going out. I plan so that I get things done. However, I never get everything
on my list done and I just end up feeling bad about it. For years I have
struggled to do the things that I used to enjoy, such as playing games and
reading. I used to spend hours playing games but now I barely play them and
when I do, I don’t play them for very long. I have finally realised why I think
that I do this. When I was studying, I had to force myself to spend time on my
work rather than doing things that I wanted to do such as playing games.
Additionally, I have had trouble focusing on reading for years, often putting
the television on in the background and muting it or reading in the breaks. My
brain seems to still be in the mode that spending time doing things that I
enjoy is not good and that there is always something more important that I
should be doing. I think this is why I do not play games very much, why I feel
distracted when I do play them and why I put off playing them because I feel
like I should be doing something else. I am not sure why I have trouble reading
but I think it must be because of this reason and my mental health. However,
when I get to the part of the book where things are really interesting and fast
paced, I can easily spend a whole day reading a mass of the book, I guess this
is because I am enjoying it so much that my mind is distracted enough to be
fully immersed in the book.
So, I am going to stop planning every little thing. I am
going to stop thinking about what I think I should be doing. I will still plan
work-related things but not hobbies. I am going to spend my free time doing
whatever hobby comes to my mind and I am going to think ‘there is not anything
else more important to be doing, it is still productive as it is relaxing, so enjoy it’.
Hopefully, my mindset will change.
Have you had any similar experiences?
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All my yes!! Im so like this �� However I do game for hours, but when I do - even if its reading- I feel like crap for « wasting my time » as I should do something productive instead (even when I really dont ?? I dont study and my job dont have « homework »..heck?)
ReplyDeleteLike I just started a bullet journal: today I walked my dogs, and gamed out until I went to bed. Nothing « interresting » to write into my Bujo apart from my habit tracker. Yet, I still ran into a panic because I don’t wanna.. « get the habit out ». I think this comes from being unemployed for so long.. I need to remember it is okay to chill and recover some times. Specially now that I will double my hours in two weeks as we are -1 worker and our boss will be in vacation. AND I just got out of being sick,. So you’d think taking time to recharge your batteries is actually good ..
We really need to give us a break and let things go a bit.. ��
Hi Kristina,
DeleteYes it is definitely fine to do those things in your free time, it is not wasting time, you have your job and when you aren't there you should be free to do things without feeling bad about them. We definitely need to give ourselves a break and let things go! Good luck on relaxing more :)