Poem: Christmas, in pain

Christmas, in pain

Every day
Symptoms
Chronic
Doesn't disappear
Pain
Varying levels
And places
But still existing
Fatigue
Some days worse than others
Some days you can do some things
But it exhausts you
Makes you dizzy
Need to lay
Have to rest
Can't do what you want to do
Other days
Nothing
Unbearable pain
Want to cry
But too ill to

People don't get it
They don't know
Or try to understand
Don't see
Every day 
Is hard

Waiting for a diagnosis
Others say is the hard part
Slow
Slow
Slow process

Not knowing 
When you will feel better
If you will
To what extent
Can life be 'normal' again?
Or is this the new reality
Will things get much easier
Or just a bit?
Will they even know what it is
And what to do

It's coming up for Christmas
It feels different this year
Because every day
You have to 
Motivate yourself to climb out of bed
In pain
Not wanting to do 
Anything
Because you feel so unwell
And it doesn't stop
Doesn't heal
An ongoing spiral
You can't escape

But
You try to stay positive
As much as you can
Because
The alternative
Is worse
You've been there

But
There are people
There is love 
There is kindness
There is support
And you grab that
Hold it in your hands
And heart

Life isn't always easy
But you are here
You are alive
And there are always people who care
So don't give up
Even though it's hard
There are people who care
Who will be there
There are things you can do
Even when limited
You have a purpose
And life
Is worth it


*If you are struggling, please please reach out to someone. Talk to a loved one, a doctor or call or message a helpline. Here are some available in the UK but there are helplines in other countries too. You are never alone.



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2 comments:

  1. Thank you for sharing this. There are so many people struggling in silence, trying to hide their pain and put on a fake smile because it's the holiday season and that's what others expect. That's why I think it's so important to spread the word and give those who may not have this experience a glimpse into what it's like to walk in the shoes of those who do.

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